No Grand Romantic Gestures Required by Joel and Stac A
Roses will be delivered, candies will be consumed, lovers will delight…
The day of love is almost upon us.
It’s also the day for Grand Romantic Gestures. You picture, John Cusack and hear Peter Gabriel playing.
When I was young, I, like many others, may have had daydreams of someone serenading me across a crowded room, picking me above all others and cementing publicly that their desire for me was greater than their pride.
As I matured, my tin heart had to have many dents popped back out, and I started to realize that most of those grand gestures are not so much about showing someone that they are your only one, as it is hoping and praying the gesture allows you to be their only one. It’s an act of desperation by someone who may realize deep down that they haven’t truly won over the object of their affection, and perhaps a huge billboard sign will convince them.
I’ve changed my views on “romantic love” more times than I’ve changed my hairstyle. Though, I’m still not ready to give it up completely.
This morning as my partner and I cuddled in bed, copped feels and laughed about ridiculous things, it felt as if we were newlyweds. As I drove to work, I thought back to darker times, a few years ago, when I was questioning my commitment. Honestly, think what you want, but love for me comes in waves. Sometimes it crashes on me in desperation, almost knocking me over with its fury. Sometimes it barely laps against my feet, tickling my toes with its emotion. And there have been many moments of low tide, where my heart appears cracked and dry, waiting for the waves of love to wash back over it.
It’s probably different for you, you may be desperately in love all the time, but for me the only thing constant about my love is change.
What keeps me committed during long periods of low tide? It’s knowing that even when I’m not sure I want to be around him, he’s there wanting to be around me.
Sometimes the grandest gesture of all is to swallow your pride and put societal views of romantic love aside and give someone a second, third, sixth, eighth chance to dent your heart all over again.
Love may start as a spark, a special connection, but a long term relationship is about unequivocally stating your needs and opening yourself up to allow a willing party to meet those needs.
I’ll end by stealing/paraphrasing words from a Relient K (yeah I’m in shock too) song
You’re still the Cusack on the lawn of my heart.