I have been asking myself what it takes to raise a good man since my first son was born 8 years ago. There are so many questions, hopes, and desires poured into that little babe in the first five seconds of life. All the planning in the world, the color schemes and diaper bags matter naught when that first cry is heard. I literally thought my heart would collapse from the emotion brought on by that one small cry. There is a sudden fierceness you feel gnawing at your heart. There have been heart breaking moments and moments of pure victory. And times my heart collapsed under the weight of my joy. After a recent trip to photograph an abandoned bridge a thought started building. I was amazed that this bridge was still standing after all the years of abuse. It was overgrown and graffitied, cracks ran in the pavement like spider webs. But overall it was solid beneath my feet even after years of disuse.
The planning and execution of building a bridge amazes me.
So my thinking started with a basic question: What does it take to build a boy? When we first get the job of building a boy we stand back and look at the land. See what we have and how we need to change our personal landscape to make the boys life in the best place we are able. Whether that means removing deep roots or shoring up what we already have are the beginnings of a strong foundation.
Then we gather materials like discipline, love and understanding to lay the groundwork for the boy raising. Many times what we need to build a boy are hard things like iron, concrete and steel. But these things are important if we want the boy to stand in a storm. The early stage of boy building are crucial to the future strength of the framework. Once your ground is solid and the framework of the boy begins his life experiences create the joints that weave together to make the structure. The bolts needed to hold him together are most important. Bolts are the people he loves most and who love him back. These people are crucial just as the materials are. These people hold the love and discipline together and they need to be as strong as he is to withhold his weight. If the bolts are weak, so are the joints and angles I lovingly measured and applied.
Building a boy is never easy. It is painstaking work to craft a boy that will grow into a passionate, loving man. I have truly poured my heart into his design, from the materials I use to his every angle and bolt. When I am old and gray, wearing five different kinds of plaid at the same time with tissues stuffed up my sleeve, I will be able to look at my boy and say my design was solid. His lines are true and angles are still strong. And when the storm comes, as it inevitable will, his foundation will not be shaken.
I know that at whatever cost I will continue to build him into the man he needs to be even if he sways when the wind hits him from time to time. When he’s grown, I will be able to sit back on the edge of his life and admire his framework against the sky. I will see that my crafting will hold him together.
He will be my handiwork, my legacy.
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You’re so awesome. Just all-around awesome. Straight up yo *fist bump*. Seriously though, very well written, Anna. I really enjoyed this one. 🙂
muwah my friend 🙂 i apprecaite your encouragement and your tshirt cannon
So wonderful. So beautiful.
I’m so touched…
Because you’re giving your boys something that all kids deserve but many don’t get.
I was on my own…
Love you, Anna.
XO
Nei
love you too sweetie! you know you could always move to KY id take care of ya 🙂
I love your analogies they are always spot on with such resonating heart !!
thank you! i am always so nervous to share my musings. I am glad you enjoyed this one
So poignant, so beautiful, so honest. What a lovely ode to parenthood you have penned here, Anna.
thank you friend so glad to know you <3
So good to read it, Anna..
It’s really hard to create a nice person and it’s amazing to think that i was so young when my boy born and now I can look back and see that I did right..
Thank you for share your emotions and wish you just have joy and fun with you son !!!
thanks for the sweet words! and i totally hear you on the young part. I feel like i was a baby myself when J was born.
Great article. Thoroughly enjoys it.
thank you!
Powerful story Anna! The images along the way really create the essence of your words. I’m sure the boy raising will go well, you have a plan and realistic view.
thank you darling! i truley hope hes the man ive built him to be
so much love for your imagery, visual and metaphorical.
A beautifully written and photographed journey of the heart, and treasure map of human potential …boy potential in this case. Kudos and kisses, Anna!!
…and people keep asking me WHY i LOVE you so much!
ANNA and the JUXT FATHERS :)… its love from the fathers.
class dismissed
awh thanks!!!! love you oodles
Anna… Such an amazing talent you are. This is written and captured so well, I read it multiple times. Now I wonder about Building a Girl (my daughters)?
thanks babe! yeah i spend a lot of time considering it all parenthood is not for the faint of heart
Now this is a beautiful read! [wipes tears from eyes]
AWH!!! here i have tissues!!
So well written my friend, love this!
thanks my dear
Tahnk you for these beautiful words Anna, I am touched…although I have 2 girls..but isn’t it the same…I build and build..
“The bolts needed to hold him together are most important. Bolts are the people he loves most and who love him back. These people are crucial just as the materials are. These people hold the love and discipline together and they need to be as strong as he is to withhold his weight. If the bolts are weak, so are the joints and angles I lovingly measured and applied.” – gosh, Anna, I think of this ALL the time (having divorced parents). You have expressed yourself so well and as a mom I know exactly how you feel.
P.S. – images are fantastic! xoxo
WOW, your words choked me up and brought tears to my eyes. As a mother of two boys, I know exactly what you are striving to do and the way you worded it struck me to my very core!!! Thank you for putting into words and images what I have been feeling
Such beautiful images to match a heartwarming tale. Your openness and generosity to share a blueprint of the ideology behind parenthood is admirable. I hope that one day when one crosses that bridge that the same principles will be applied. Thank you again sweet Anna. X (@kaliopy)
This is SO beautiful Anna. You’re writing is as marvelous as your photography and I feel fortunate to have been given the opportunity to add you into my life space. This is such a wonderful blog entry and I’m going to forward it to my sister who is about to have her first baby… baby unknown but girl… boy, my childness ass assumes the premise is the same. =) Thanks for sharing this piece of you.
j
Errr… don’t mind the horrific auto-corrects. 😉